Pregnancy synonyms

Okay, having multiple friends who are pregnant has made me do some thinking. Some day I will be pregnant with a little Kevo or Kevina and I have um, shall we say a pet peeve, that I hope to avoid encountering.
Mainly, those stupid pregnancy "nicknames", if you will. For example, 'Prego'. Now seriously folks, do you want to be thought of in relation to a spaghetti sauce? Extra chunky or garden style? I understand that people feel a need to make anything related to babies all cutesy and sweet; I however, am not such a big fan of the current trends.

Or how about 'Preggers'? Anyone else think that sounds like a sorority girl nickname? Or just way too TMZ? "Hi I'm Preggers! I like anything pink and I love fluffy, little puppies who yap all the time. hehe!"

Not that the previous trends are any better. "Hello, I'm 'expecting'." Expecting what? A tip? A compliment? A puppy? A baby shower gift?!?!? Now, I suppose it might make more sense if you said I'm expecting a little girl/boy....but since they haven't always had the sonogram technology that's available today (what the heck is 4-D imaging anyway?!?!?) it was a crapshoot to label the sex.

Then there are the cute little old men that thought it was too intimate to say the word pregnant so they said "in the family way". Personally that's how I refer to my dog when we're trying to load the car for a trip and she's constantly shadowing us. "Nicki, you are totally in the family way!" (fortunately, the vet got her goods long ago so we haven't had to think about it) I've also heard people refering to aging relatives in the same manner....though never in front of the subject!

Of course, we could use "with child" as the Bible does when refering to Mary, mother of Jesus (and I suppose every other pregnant woman.) According to the Online Etymology Dictionary¹ the word pregnant was taboo until about the 1950's (WTH?) so "with child" may have been the most accepted euphemism. We could harken back to the day c. 1800 when the slang was "poisoned" in reference to the swelling or the Old English term "mid-bearne".

Ah yes, how could we forget the esteemed phrase, so glaringly used as a movie title, 'knocked up'. How d'you like that one? Makes you all warm and fuzzy inside doesn't it?

So enough with my diatribe. Not sure I want to go with the French or Norwegian terms, respectively 'enceinte' and 'gravid'....but the German term 'schwanger' at least makes me giggle. I don't think my husband would appreciate "I've been violated" so that's out. But I have always told him that I'm fragile (generally after stubbing my toe or some other bruise inducing behavior) so maybe he'd be okay with "in a delicate condition"? I don't know....since I'm not pregnant maybe it shouldn't be an issue. But some day....until then I think I'll stick with 'gestating'.