Who came up with that stupid and oxymoronic phrase?!?!
I have ventured, temporarily I hope, into the anger stage. I'm assuming that I am experiencing the stages of grief, although I can't remember how many there are, or their order. And yet a part of me feels that my psyche is being a bit hasty with this whole grief bit, if in fact that's what this is.
No one has told me that it is hopeless or that I need to give up my dreams - not yet anyway. I will admit I'm preparing for the worst. However, I am most definitely angry.
I am angry that I my body doesn't work the way it was designed to.
I am angry that I have to pay someone to root around "down there" to tell me my body isn't working the way it was designed to.
I'm angry that when most people only need the equipment God gave them to conceive, that I have to pay large quantities of money for "a shot" at pregnancy - not even a sure thing.
I'm angry that my husband has to even consider making a decision that causes him to question his moral stand on a medical procedure.
I'm angry that he didn't automatically say "we'll do whatever we have to".
I'm angry that 14 year old girls who don't have the maturity or the money to raise a child are getting pregnant daily - some against their will.
I'm angry that pregnant women complain about being uncomfortable, when I would trade them places in a nanosecond.
I'm angry at insurance companies and their damn "pre-existing condition" clauses.
I'm angry that I don't get to surprise my family with an unexpected announcement.
Most of all, I'm angry that this is making me so angry!
Okay, I feel better now.
ps - If you are reading this, then you are my friend and know that none of this rant was referring to you.
The Third's a Charm
10 years ago
1 comment:
You SHOULD be angry because none of this is how God intended it. So add to your list Adam and Eve and Satan and sin entering the world and making childbearing (and conceiving in our case) so painful. And then hang onto God's promises with all your might while you wait. And though your announcement may not be a surprise, it will be filled with even more joy because of your journey. Angry with you, my friend, and ready to also rejoice with you.
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