Diapers and Doe pee

Never tell a pregnant woman why you can't come to her baby shower.  And if you do, make sure you are out of her firing range as well as that of the shower hostess(es).  

I'm throwing a baby shower for one of my best friends in the world this weekend.  Now for all of you who have taken the time and care to plan a shower, you understand the frustrations cause by all those lameass people who "forget" to RSVP and show up anyway, RSVP but DON'Tshowd up, or respectfully decline because (insert lameass reason here).  If you don't want to go to a baby shower just own up to it....or better yet, suck it up and show your friend/co-worker/relative that you care about her and support her.  You really don't even have to bring a gift.  (But if you do make sure it's something from the registry!  But that's another topic, I digress.)  Just your presence shows that you care enough about her and her feelings to take a couple hours out of your oh- so- busy schedule to be a good friend.  

I know, I know... playing those stupid shower gamesis like gouging your eyes out with grapefruit spoons.  I hate them so much I never have them at the showers I throw.  We just sit around eating yummy food and living vicariously through the guest of honor while she opens all those thoughtful (read:from the registry) gifts.  Again, I digress.

This wonderful friend of mine is the sweetest person on the planet.  Seriously, even our eye doctor in common told me so.  So when someone tells her they won't be at her shower (instead of calling the hostess who is trying to plan food, favors and chair rentals) she just smiles sweetly and says something gracious and understanding so they don't feel guilty.  I love this about her, really I do.  It's one of those traits that makes her capable of putting up with me. :-)  I, on the other hand, have decided it's probably wise that they didn't call me to decline.  And this is why.....the reasons and excuses given when they won't be there.

Here are two of the reasons people have declined:  (keep in mind they are telling this to her face)

I'm sorry, I won't be able to attend.  There is a Razorbacks game that day. (two people said this!)

I'm sorry, hunting season starts that day.

(P.S. For all you hunters who know your seasons, this was for a shower in November.) (P.P.S. The date was changed to accomodate those who felt adminstering death more important than celebrating life.)

So, basically because I'm so protective of my peeps, I would like to send all of these people bags of flaming poo!  Anyone would have their feelings hurt by such horrific behavior (I KNOW your momma taught you better!).  I now have the task of trying to be nice to these people, in the event we are ever in the same place and I am introduced to them.  I even toyed briefly with the idea of sending short notes, but my friend (and my husband) would be moritified.

Ladies, consider the feelings of your friend (and keep in mind she might be hormonal) and deal with it.  And if you can't attend the shower because "something better came along" for God's sake....DON'T TELL  HER!!!!!!

Stupid Psuedo-Bloggers

Okay, so I am one of those stupid psuedo-bloggers who starts a blog, tells all their friends and then proceeds to go two months between slightly entertaining blogs. I have the same excuses as everyone else: too busy, slow computer, nothing interesting to say, etc. So today I'm just going to make a list of things that bug me and therefore may be blogged about in the future. Here goes....

1. Rude college boys
2. Senior citizen drivers in large, indestructible cars
3. Teenagers with nicer cars than me
4. People who won't hold the elevator if if you're withing 10 feet of the thing
5. Restaurant servers that put everone on one ticket without asking
6. Gas stations in remote locations that hike their prices "because they can"
7. People who assume, because it's election season, that everyone wants to talk politics
8. People who don't recognize social cues like no eye contact and simply ingoring them
9. People who insist everything be done their way
10.People who drive under the speed limit because they are preoccupied on their cell phone
11. Girls who wear tight white pants with black and white polka dot undies
12. People who just sit there sniffling and sniveling instead of going to the bathroom and BLOWING THEIR NOSE!!!! For the love, I promise the teacher won't be offended!

Okay, that exhausts my ranting for now.