Massage!!!

Okay, so I officially have the sweetest husband ever. After a couple weeks of leaning over a drafting board, trying to finish a project for studio and staying up late in front of my laptop to finish a powerpoint presentation (due the same day as the project no less) my husband gave up. He could no longer keep up with the knots, masses and crunchy areas in my upper back, shoulders and neck so he made an appointment for me with a massage therapist he works with.

She was amazing! Last night, the way I slept was amazing! Today I feel amazing! During the massage.....I was biting back swear words and trying not to hit anyone. Seriously.

I've never really understood what people were talking about when discussing painful procedures...you know what I mean....that impulse to punch whoever was pulling your tooth, adjusting your back, waxing your hoo-haw or filing your fingernail down to a nubbin' while talking on her cell phone. Well, now my friends, I understand.

This sweet, wonderful girl who was willing to drive to my home to help me....almost got decked. It wasn't her fault. She had already put up with my screams, my moans and my laughter (does anyone else laugh when they hurt?) when she found it....that abyss of pain located somewhere in my right buttock. Imagine a red hot knitting needle being poked into your backside where your thigh bone connects to your hip bone. You just just scrunched up your face didn't you? That's only a fraction of the pain I was feeling.

I know you are asking yourself "Didn't she say that it was her neck and shoulders that were the issue?" Well, you are correct. That is what I said, but apparently my husband was right when he said "So, the head is directly connected to the butt." It basically boils down to this....if your hips are out of whack, everything connected to it is most likely out of whack as well. Since I've suffered with sciatic issues for years now....it was no surprise to find my hips/butt/etc. were out of whack.

Back to my butt....(heehee). She spent the majority of 60 minutes working on my glutes. I begged her not to show my husband the hot spots. I don't want to wake up in the middle of the night with him poking me in the hip cuz he's tired of hearing me snore. She kept telling me to take a deep breath and go to my happy place. That's when you know the pain is coming!

Btw, if anyone ever tells you to take a deep breath, expect something bad to happen as you exhale.

So while I was chanting "Coldstone Creamery" to myself, she finished her torture...uh, ministrations on my booty. When she finished, she did this amazing smash my face with her palms thing and left the room for me to recover. I wondered briefly if I should be grossed out that she'd been rubbing my rear then smooshed my face with those same hands. Since it's my butt and I took a shower just before she arrived, I decided to let it go. After deep breathing and a quick prayer, I sat up slowly and slid off the table. Huh, no pain. What do you know?

As soon as I saw my husband he got a big kiss and a directive....you will take me to Marketplace for sweet potato fries and then to Coldstone Creamery for some Cake Batter Batter Batter ice cream. He smiled sweetly, kissed me soundly and smacked me on the rear as he left the room to get his keys.