College Boy Hygiene & Vehicle Choice

Hey you!  Mister Camoflague jacket!  Yeah, you on the red scooter!  If the top speed of your scooter is less than the speed limit...STAY OFF THE STREET!  
I really mean to say this to all those college boys riding their scooters anywhere other than on campus. 
If you don't require a special license to operate it...keep it off the street. 
If you don't require a license plate for it...keep if off the street. 
If you don't think you have to follow the same traffic laws that I do...keep it off the street. 
If you don't think you should have to wear a helmet...well, let's hope you can keep your brains off the street.

And you, Mister Smirk, I hate to break it to you...but muscle shirts aren't cool, even in the gym.  Really, I promise.  If you aren't cut enough to work out sans shirt, then you aren't cut enough to pull off a muscle shirt.  And no one is cut enough to work out sans shirt...unless you look like Wade Wilson (no, not the Dallas coach).  So, put on a t-shirt, comb your hair and the rest of the class would appreciate your use of anti-perspirant.  Oh, and if you're gonna eat breakfast in class...pick up after yourself. 

As you can tell, it's been awhile since I really let loose with all my inner frustrations.  I gotta tell ya...being a full time student on a college campus provides mucho fodder for these little forays into my personal opinions.  For example, how do you tell an entire campus of sorority girls that "leggings aren't pants...when you wear them as such, we can all see your business."  Maybe that's the point.  Go figure, they are sorority girls.

Now, if you were a sorority girl don't go getting all offended and put out (heh,heh) by that last comment.  I'm sure you are a wonderful person who has gone on to great and wonderful things.  But when you were in college, I'm pretty sure you were just like all of them on campus today.  Cuz that's sorta the point...for all the sisters to conform to the same ideal.  Problem is, all the sororities conform to the same ideal so you all look alike...Nike Tempo track shorts (none of you run track, I checked), sweatshirt, Uggs (what a fitting name) and an elastic headband strategically placed in your strategically styled hair meant to look effortless.  Too bad that third coat of mascara gives away your "effortless" image.  Do sorority houses have their own tanning beds?  Every sorority girl I see has a tan oddly reminiscent of mid-July....and it's the end of October.  Maybe when they sell their souls during rush week that's the deal they make with the devil...I'll do whatever you tell me to do as long as I'm eternally tan. 

Wow, how'd I get off the college boy diatribe and on to sorority girls?  Oh wait...where there is one, you will find the other. 

Eh, that's enough bashing for one day.  I do feel better now, thank you!